can we see katie now?

• Today was the last day of school before Remembrance Day, so all of you had assemblies this morning.  Katie, your choir was performing at yours, so your assembly was the one I attended.  It was lovely.  Your music teacher puts so much thought into the pieces you sing.  As usual, I cried when you sang.  Choral music does this to me every time.  Something about a group of people working together to make something beautiful.  The readings told the story of Vimy Ridge.  It was powerful and moving.  So proud to be a Canadian.
• Lila, Jane had an appointment this morning, and you knew that Auntie Georgia was going to babysit George, so as I was dropping you off to school, suddenly, you were very "sick."  Your tummy hurt as well as your neck.  Lol.  I knew you just wanted to stay home with her, so I played along and let you skip school.  I brought you to Katie's school for her assembly.  As we waited for it to begin, we played outside and burned off some energy in preparation of an hour of sitting still.
• And now back to the assembly...George and Lila, you were so well behaved.  45 minutes is a loooooong time to sit still and be quiet.  To be honest, I was incredibly relieved, as I was expecting to have to leave in the middle of it.  As soon as it ended,  you jumped up and asked if you could see Katie now.  You ran up to the bleachers and accosted her.  You hugged her and hung all over her.  She was loving it...and hating it all at the same time.  All her choir friends were oohing and aahing over how cute you guys are, and Katie was just wanting to get out of the spotlight.  I enjoyed watching the whole thing.  
• Jane, you had your first appointment with Dr. Bradshaw.  Interesting stuff.  I was fascinated watching the process.  We're going back next week, so I'm super curious to see what happens.  
• Katie, your team went to watch the Canada vs USA women's soccer match at BC Place tonight.  Daddy took you, and I was kind of jealous.  I love being in a crowd and feeling the energy and excitement.  However, I have zero knowledge of soccer, so I know daddy was the better choice to take you.  You were pretty excited!  Except, as I was taking photos of you leaving, you told me that I had already embarrassed you enough for one day, and you didn't want me taking any more photos.  Well, at least you're honest.  Love you Katie Bean.
• Jane, you and I had a great talk this evening after the babies went to bed.  We talked about being offensive vs hurting people.  We talked about what everyone is actually looking for.  We think perhaps it's being seen (for your true self) and feeling safe, physically and emotionally.  I wonder if we're right?  Interesting discussion.  I love talking to you.  You have so many big thoughts and ideas.  Good stuff kid, good stuff.
• And now I'm sitting in the silence of our quiet little house writing this.  I'm thankful for this blog.  I'm grateful I have this space to recount the mundane, yet oh so important happenings of our family.  I hope you all appreciate it one day.  I hope it will fill in some gaps in your memories and give you some insight into your childhood.  Daddy and I love with everything we have.  We're trying every single day to be the best version of ourselves that exists.  We fall short most days, but we're trying.  I hope that you feel seen, and that you feel safe.  If ever that isn't the case, please tell me.  I want to know.  I will do what it takes to make it happen.  I love you so much more than I love my ego or my pride.  
• I didn't blog yesterday because, honestly, I was having a shitty day.  I was grouchy when my feet hit the ground, and I felt "off" all day.  Dr. Bradshaw had a last minute opening for an appointment for Jane, so I had to quickly call Auntie Georgia to ask if she could babysit.  I was totally fine, but the second I heard her voice, I burst into tears and couldn't even talk.  I mumbled a couple of semi-coherent sentences about needing someone to babysit, then she assured me that yes, she was available, then told me (very lovingly) to hang up and get my shit together and call her back.  Lol.  It cracked me up.  I had a good cry, then called her back.  Sheesh.  It truly takes a village.  And thankfully, I have one.  I'm grateful.  So grateful.  Georgia has filled a hole in our lives and in our family.  How fortunate we are to have her.