photo albums

• Lila, you looked through all our old photo albums this morning.  You love them.  I'm ashamed to say that I'm still so behind on making them that I have only made up to 2011.  You asked me why we don't have any books with you in them.  I'm so sorry!  I started making the 2012 books today.  Part of the reason I haven't made them yet is because I feel overwhelmed by anything after you were born because that's when my photo obsession really started.  You were my muse.  The reason I wanted to grow and learn and get better at photography.  
• Lila, you had a birthday party for a classmate this afternoon.  We arrived an hour late, and that was probably for the best.  You are so scared at birthday parties.  I think it's because they're so loud and crazy.  I feel sad because I wish it wasn't so difficult for you.  In theory, you want to go.  You're excited beforehand and lovingly select a gift for your friend and make a card, but on the day of the party, it's hard for you to go.  I stayed with you today, which made things a bit better.  Oh sweetheart, I hope with all of my mommy heart that you grow more confident and are able to accept more people into your inner circle.  It pains me that you have such a hard time navigating the world.  But know this...I will ALWAYS be there for you.  I will help you in anyway I can.  You did end up having fun on the slides by yourself, so I'm happy you got to experience that!
• After the party, I came home and daddy and I went on a pho date.  I was so hungry as I had missed lunch to take Lila to the party.  We talked about all of you.  We talked about all our worries and concerns, along with all the amazing things about each of you.  We're pretty big fans.    We also talked about marriage.  I was listening to a podcast this week about how marriages are reborn time and time again.  You either choose to end the marriage or allow it to be reborn into something new.  I feel like daddy and I have done that a number of times.  Marriage is no easy task.  There's so much learning and growing and humbling and negotiating and compromising and choosing.  If you're not willing to go through the pain and the self improvement necessary, a marriage simply cannot last.  I hope you all find a partner as interested in a successful relationship as daddy is.  He's a good man.  We're both far from perfect, but we're both interested in creating a relationship that grows and supports each other.
• Katie, you're having some friend troubles right now.  I hope you are able to wade through these murky waters keeping your morals and ethics in mind.  We talked about it the other night and I advised you to be highly aware of who you aspire to be.  Write that stuff down, then make your decisions based on that.  Always surround yourself with people who help you be your best self.  
• George, you are so funny.  Daddy slept with you last night, and you came to me first thing this morning to complain to me that daddy had made your room smell so gross.  I asked you what the smell was, and you said, "I think it's his snowing bweaff" (his snoring breath)
• Jane, you had play rehearsal for much of the day.  Things are getting serious.  You won't even talk to me about what you did in rehearsal because you say your teacher has sworn you all to secrecy.    I'm so damn curious, but that's because I'm snoopy by nature.  I can't wait to see your play.  I can't wait to see you perform and dazzle the audience.