after the game

• George and Lila, you were busy busy busy this morning.  You made a "house" for your stuffies.  You played in it for most of the day.  You made hockey soup for them.  Apparently they loved it.
• Katie, you were laying on my bed this morning and I was making you giggle.  I wish I could remember what was tickling your fancy so much.  You're so cute little Bean.
• George and Lila, you were both eating huge carrots when I walked into the living room.  You're odd children.
• Jane, you babysat so much today.  I'm grateful that you're willing and you're grateful that you earn buttons for it.  It's a win-win situation.
• Daddy and I went out on our pho date today.  We talked for over two hours.  I feel like we're ready to move on to the next stage of our lives.  For a long time, our world was quite small.  It had to be.  It was all about self preservation and just making it through each day.  Now, I think we're in a place where it's time for us to give back and widen our circle.  We have a couple things we need to deal with and fully process before we can truly move on, but those are in the works and I feel excited and optimistic about our future.   We also talked about cancer and divorce and all kinds of things that are happening around us.  
• Katie, your coaches tried you out on midfield today.  You were really nervous before the game.  You got one 15 minute shift to show them what you could do.  After that, you went back to your usual position on defense.  You're dying to move to mid because you like to move the ball up and you also feel like you understand defense really well, so you could be helpful to both.  
• It was beautiful at Lafarge Lake.  There was a warm breeze, and the leaves were dancing all around the park.  
• Jane, as we left the soccer field, I wondered aloud what we would eat for dinner.  Imagine my delight when we walked through the door and you had just finished making something.  It was the first time you threw something together without a recipe.  You made noodles with an asian type sauce (that you made yourself!) with chicken and carrots.  It was delicious.  Thank you so much.  
• Lila, I forgot to write down something you told me a couple weeks ago.  You told me, "Being mean is NOT for school.  It's for home."
• Jane, I've been meaning to write this down as well.  A couple weeks ago, a friend's husband surprised her with a hotel room with flowers and candles and wine.  I showed you and Katie the text and Katie asked daddy why he never does things like that for me.  Jane, you said, "Dad doesn't do big romantic gestures like that...but he does a million kind things for mom all the time."  I'm so happy you recognize that.  Daddy is so nice to me.  He's kind and compassionate and thoughtful in a thousand small ways every day.  He shows me (and tells me) he loves me and is thinking about me all the time.  
• Lila, your tooth is hanging on by a thread.  It's ready to come out.  You were kind of ok with it, but then things turned bad rather quickly.  You just wouldn't let anyone get in there and grab it.  Jane is our resident tooth puller, so she tried first.  You kept wiggling and kicking and closing your mouth.  Then I tried.  Same thing.  Then dad tried.  Same thing.  It was ridiculous.  You're a very headstrong little lady.  And all the while, Katie was taking photos and George was watching in horror.  We finally gave up, had a nice long snuggle, then tucked you into your little beddy.
• I've been thinking a lot about living "open heartedly."  I'm curious what a life without judgement, and strict adherence to social norms looks like.  I wonder what a life full of love and true acceptance would feel like.  Do I know anyone who lives like that?  Where do I find more of them?  If I start living like that, will we be magnetically attracted to each other?  I think I'd like to try.  I don't even know what it means precisely, but I want to be more aware and intentional with it.