compassion

• George, this morning I was sitting at the kitchen table with Katie and Lila when we heard a big crash and the breaking of glass.  I came out to the living room to see my precious painting on the ground, the frame broken and the glass smashed.  I was shocked!  It was way up on top of the bookshelf.  It turns out you wanted something on top of the shelves (that I had put there so you wouldn't play with it!), and used your fishing rod to try and get it down.  In the process you swiped everything to the floor.
• Interestingly, I had just been listening to a podcast about compassion.  Love is compassion in action.  I love you George.  I love you more than that painting.  I love you more than that frame.  I took a few deep breaths, gathered myself, then decided to tackle this a different way than I usually do.  You had already run to your room to hide on your bed as you do when you think someone is mad at you.  
• You see, this painting is really special to me.  It was my grandma's.  My grandpa had done work for a family down the road, and the wife was an artist.  My grandma really loved this piece, so my grandpa took payment in form of this painting.  She had it hanging above their bed.  I always loved it.  When she asked what I wanted from her house when she died, this was the only thing on my list.  In fact, this painting is why I chose to have poinsettias at our wedding.  
• I did have a good cry as I cleaned up the mess.  I always loved the thought that my grandma had dusted the same frame and cleaned the same glass.  My grandma was a nice grandma to me.  I know she wasn't the best mom, but she tried her best.  My mom did way better than her...and now, here I am hoping I can do even better.  I decided to have one thought of gratitude or love with each piece of glass I picked up.  And what do you know, by the time I was finished, I had cried all my tears, and I was feeling nothing but love for you George. 
• As I cleaned, a specific memory came to me.  We were at my grandma's house and she had made a fancy dinner and used the good china.  I was helping to clear the table and was carrying a big stack of plates.  Something happened and I dropped them and several broke.  I remember dying a little on the inside and bracing myself for the yelling.  Instead, she just laughed and told me they were just plates and then helped me clean them up.  I think my grandma learned compassion later in life.  I was grateful I was learning it a little earlier because that means I'll be able to practice it for a good long time.
• I went to your room and snuggled you on your bed and told you about why that painting was special to me.  You hugged me and stroked my face while I talked, then gave me the most sincere sweet apology I've ever heard.  
• Wow.  This felt a lot better than getting angry and shaming you.  Maybe old dogs can learn new tricks.