goodbye

• Today was an upside-down day.  A couple weeks ago I had scheduled a carpet cleaning, but little did I know that we would also need to take care of our kitty today.  We got up early and cleared the space the best we could, then waited for the carpet cleaners.  They were an hour and a half late.  When they arrived I told them about everything, then packed you kids up and took you out for lunch.  I shopped at Costco while you ate.  Our fridge was quite empty.  Lila, you were yelling at me all day about, "Why doesn't our fridge have very many things in it?????"  
• Katie, after shopping we went to the orthodontist.  We were hoping you would get your last brace on today to pull that one little tooth forward, but there isn't quite enough space yet.  Next time.
• Jane, you needed a couple things at Colours, so we headed down there to kill more time.  It's so stressful being in there with George.  I'm on George duty while we shop which means I am within six inches of him and remind him about eight billion times not to pick anything up.  He can touch whatever he wants, but isn't allowed to play with it.   And he's quick too...if I turn my attention to anything else, he totally takes off on me.  It makes me laugh and shake my head all at the same time.  George, how do you have so much energy?
• After that we still had more time to kill, so we stopped in to visit Ben and Georgia and stayed until Ben had reached his limit in the chaos department.  We're going to have to break him in...or maybe just immerse him in it until it seems normal to him.  Lol.  Poor Ben.
• And then the time came that I was dreading all day.  We came home and packed up our kitty to take her to the vet.  
• Lila, on the way there you asked if we could get a new kitty whose birthday is on Christmas (because nobody forgets Christmas so we could never forget her birthday) and name her Kate (because it's similar to Katie so we won't forget it.)  Jane and Katie shut you down pretty quick and asked you not to talk about it again.  You just rolled your eyes and couldn't understand what the problem was.
• Jane, you wanted to hold her in the van.  When we got to the vet's, we all piled out except for you.  You couldn't do it.  You just sat with her on your lap crying and crying.  It broke my heart.  I came over to you and had a good cry alongside you.  
• They were so kind to us at the vets office.  I saw they had a candle burning on the reception desk beside a sign that asked people to be quiet as someone was saying goodbye to their beloved pet.
• We had a little room where we could spend as much time as we wanted.   They took Lise to put the catheter in, then brought her back to us.  She laid on the table and we all surrounded her and petted her.  She was really skinny and weak.  She just laid there, like she knew what was happening and was just soaking in the last of our love for her.   I know it was the best decision for her, but it was still so heartbreaking.  She actually woke me up this morning yowling like she was in pain.  She followed me and daddy around everywhere we went, meowing and yowling and insisting on being petted.
• We spend about half an hour with her.  Everyone took a turn saying goodbye.  I was last.  Katie, thank you so much for taking photos for me.  I loved that cat and it was really hard to say goodbye.  I thanked her for being such a nice kitty.  She was purring so loud.
• George, you were our comic relief.  They had one of those spring door stoppers and just when the emotions were getting too much to handle, you'd sproing it and laugh because it sounded like a giant fart.  You had brief moments of feeling sad and at one point I looked over and saw you standing by the door with your hands in your pockets and a tear trickling down your cheek.
• We asked the vet to come in, and I petted her and talked to her while he did the injection.  She was purring as she died.  She was so sweet.
• George, once again you broke the mood.  You came up close to her to kiss her, then said in your booming little voice, "Actually, hew eyes look weally cweepy when she's dead," then skipped off out the door.
• Jane and Katie, the three of us stayed for a few more minutes as daddy took the babies out to the van.  We petted her a bit more and talked about how sweet she was and had another little cry.
• We decided to go out for Pho because the carpets were still wet and we didn't feel like going home and cooking.  Pho is pure comfort food.  It was a good decision to go and eat together.  Daddy and I were telling you stories about how we used to talk for the cat and this whole imaginary world we had created around her.  It was so funny.  I don't know when we stopped doing that, but I imagine it had something to do with having kids and the cat becoming less of a priority for us.  She was our first baby.  We actually got her the day after we moved into our condo, so we've had her for just over 17 years.  We couldn't wait to get a pet.  She was sweet from  the first.
• Katie, this evening you went out with friends to distract yourself, and I went to my friend Kim's for some baby snuggles and a visit.  It was nice to go out.  Our family is definitely made up of three extroverts and three introverts.  We all dealt with the sadness in our own way.